Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thoughts on religion

I was raised Catholic but it didn't stick.

The question of god's existence is unanswerable. God requires faith. Faith requires the absence of evidence. Evidence of god destroys faith in god. God requires faith. Evidence of god destroys god. Poof.

I'll play the odds dictated by the evidence (and lack thereof). There is no evidence of a god. Not even a partial print for Abby from the crime scene that is Earth. No carpet fibers from the trunk of God's car pulled off the trash bags in which "His" Haitians are being buried in their shallow mass graves. No divine DNA swabbed from the rectum of humanity. The beauty of a sunset is not evidence. The complexity of DNA is not evidence. The assumed improbability of what is called "randomness" being responsible for life is not evidence. The fact that we haven't yet found every fossil needed to close the case for evolution is not evidence. The fact that we don't yet understand everything is not evidence. Bird poop on your windshield shaped like Jesus isn't evidence.

Saying that the inconsistencies surrounding god are "part of 'God's Plan'", and that "we can't comprehend it" is not a trump card, it's a Trump card.
Religious people always say something like "I see evidence of god all around me", but they never share any of that "evidence".
What the evidence does say is that if there IS a god ruling the universe, he's either an alien with a chemistry set, or he's a complete asshole with a needy ego almost as large as Obama's, or he's a little kid making mud pies and poofing ants with a magnifying glass. None of them are worthy of worship.
When you submit to mythology, you're submitting to men. Plain, greedy men. Read the ten commandments. More of them are about worship and submission than good behavior.
Religion is just a third party, and it sure ain't Independent.
Religion is like Oil for Food; The premise sounds good, but it's a false premise administered by greedy, power-hungry men with much less altruistic agendas than stated.
Religion is a replacement for a healthy self-image, and a way to avoid responsibility.
As Religious Belief approaches 100%, the Coefficients of Rationality and Responsibility both approach zero.
If I have to appear in "God's Court" to be judged, I intend to countersue. And ask for punitive damages.
Here's a creation theory as plausible and well-thought-out as any: God is a lonely-but-elitist being who created the Earth solely for company, and designed it so that when we evolve to the point where we can figure everything out, we will be God's equal and therefore someone worth talking to. Once in a while God gets bored of waiting for us to smarten up and pokes a fault line with a stick, or mixes up the red and black ants to watch them fight. Oh, and God looks like Rene Russo. Maybe I'll build a museum down south somewhere (since it's not sinful to make shitloads of money when you're doing the Ant-lord's work).
Here's another Plausible Creation Theory: God is a small, underfunded department in the Galactic Bureaucracy of Love and Taxes, and are responsible for the raising of livestock on Feeder Planets. The Serpent was a remote cattle-monitoring/behavioral control droid, the Segmented Emoting Remote-Piloted Enhanced Neuronic Tranceiver (with Incendiary Shrubbery Defoliant upgrade), Eve was a redheaded guerilla from the Resistance, the Apple was Science, and humans were only allowed to obtain it because the dumbass monitoring in the Earth cubicle got his feet tangled in the network cables (about 15 God-minutes ago). And the Alpha Quandrant's IT Dept. is having their Teambuilding Diversity Retreat today, so we're on our own until after God-lunch. Boy, The Boss is gonna be pissed.

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