Natural Awesomeness

http://www.raptorresource.org/falcon_cams/index.html

Very, very cool.

Dear Senator Snowe,

I met you several times while I was a TSA screener at the Portland Jetport (I was there during the attempt to "rightsize" our crew into oblivion, thank you for stepping in), and as a contract screener before that, performing occasional hand wand screenings on you and your heels in the old co-ed days :), and always found you to be pleasant and reasonable (which cannot be said about everyone I met at the checkpoint). Your reputation as a sensibly moderate senator also encouraged me to write to you with this concern.

My positive impression of your character is why I am confident that you will agree with me, when I propose that this country is in need of a law or constitutional amendment that prohibits the government from ever limiting the secure, private ability of the population to communicate via any means, most particularly electronic means, including cell phones and the Internet, encrypted or not. In the same way that the 2nd Amendment ensures that the government can never disarm the people, now that the people's voices can finally be heard beyond their own town councils, we need something which prevents the government from ever again keeping them in the dark or silencing them.

Recent events in Saudi Arabia, China, Iran, Egypt and elsewhere have shown the danger of government having their hand on the Internet's and the cellular network's "off switches", and it is a much larger danger than state-run media. With the Internet, people who take the time to look have more access to the truth than ever before, regardless of what the media or government publishes, and more access to each other than ever before, which gives them the power, for once in history. Internet anonymity and solidarity encourages speaking out about injustice and mobilizes loud, international public support like nothing ever seen before, and scandals like clerical abuse or war crimes or other miscarriages of justice can then be investigated independently, instead of being buried in-house. State-run or corporate-owned propaganda media become obvious, irrelevant, powerless and laughable when they are no longer the only source of information. The Internet is a Hot Line to the horse's mouth.

Recent events have also shown the beginnings of the Internet's true, vital worth, and its potential to do more for the poor and oppressed and uneducated of humankind than any previous advancement since agriculture. It is the ability of a poor, uneducated person inside the depths of some hopeless place to first realize that not everyone has to live like he does and that neither should he, then the ability to let the world know his plight, and then the ability of the world to hound and shame that nation into doing what's right. At no point in history have we had this kind of access to information with which to make our own proper judgments, or the chance to demand this level of accountability from governments, and it is a precious thing that has only just been born, and it needs nurturing. Imagine how long a regime like North Korea's could last, had their people free, unfettered access to what the rest of the world sees. Ten minutes, maybe? Imagine how much longer President Mubarak would have remained in power without the Internet. Would Saddam Hussein have left, had Twitter been around in 1990?

A recent story here about the FCC splitting the Internet into different systems based on fees immediately rang an alarm bell in my mind (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-12-21/net-neutrality-ruling-the-fcc-splits-the-internet-in-two/), because if there are two separate Internets, a slow, spotty cheap one for the little people and a smooth, fast expensive one for the big players (you know it will work that way, it always does, look at the difference in customer service between residential and corporate-class internet or phone service), it will leave the influence-less bulk of the people kept in the dark and more vulnerable than ever to the rich special interest/government partnership that we all know runs Washington. Wall Street and churches run the far right, unions and professional victims run the far left, and they both run the rest of us down in their dash for the cash. We are in the middle of yet another mess that is not of our own making, and we are tired of it. And we are living in a time when the people are demanding more power and control over their own lives, not less, and more and more of us are not willing to take no for an answer any more, as the recent demonstrations and elections have illustrated to any who are paying attention.

If there are two separate Internets, it would be all too easy for the government or corporations to shut things down for the little people under the pretense of needing all the bandwidth for some emergency, while corporate or government interests continue to be free to run things as they see fit. Simple economic pressures like weather could easily give the same result without malfeasance, as you know where the bulk of the maintenance budget will go. You also know who will get service and who will not if there's an earthquake.

Perhaps you think that's paranoid. I'm sure some folks said that about the 1st and 2nd Amendments too, but I think it is perfectly in line with the basic principles of this country. It's not about suspecting any particular administration or group of people of nefarious intent, or claiming that there is a high probability of tyranny if we don't watch them every second. It's about doing your best to make nefarious deeds impossible for anyone to commit, so that no one tries, and saves us all the bother. The TSA can't trust that every sweet lil' cookie-baking grandmother, or Senator or pilot for that matter, has good intentions. Nor does it try to guess the relative likelihood of any of those people exercising such bad intentions, instead it does its best to eliminate the possibility of anyone at all exercising bad intentions. The Constitution doesn't trust that the basic goodness of American politicians will prevent tyranny in government, it does its best to ensure that tyranny is impossible to commit, and ensuring Internet freedom and “hands off” from the government is perhaps the most important example of that to ever come up, given the immense power it gives the ordinary citizen. We should not now trust to that goodness alone to protect the true, vital core of modern freedom of speech, which is not flag-burning and political insults, but the freedom to share thoughts and ideas and complaints, and to organize, and to demand change and not stop until we get it. We're tired of waiting for change to come from another politician like we've been doing forever, and with little to show for it except change for the worse. This is the only way for the people to be as loud as the special interests, and it must be preserved and reinforced.

Honest, sincere democratic government should be in favor of this on general principles anyway, because freedom and speed of communication also lets them know the will of the people much more efficiently than at any time in the history of the country (they do still care about the will of the people, don't they, some of them at least?). They can have a virtually nationwide referendum on any subject within hours of asking the question. And whether they like it or not, the people have found their voice, and will use it, and will not give it up without a fight. This is their right of all rights. It is a lesson that both parties and the traditional media need to learn, if they hope to exist past 2012.

People greatly admire the lonely, brave soul who broadcasts for the people on his ham radio from the darkness of some oppressed population, never knowing when charging boots will smash in his door. How much more would they admire a Senator who ensures that it is literally impossible for her people to ever need to resort to ham radio again?

We should automatically strive to lead the world in democracy and freedom and individual rights by default, to lead by supreme example, should we not? If we wish to inspire more nations to demand democratic reforms, to urge this growing wave of democracy to spread further into the world, to universalize education for anyone who can read based on demonstrable facts instead of limiting it to those who can pay, to keep this traditional idea of American “goodness” alive, and to not appear to be hypocrites, should we not be taking every opportunity to expand, clarify and cement forever our own freedoms? Imagine if their had been bloggers in Vietnam in 1962. The Cold War would have ended by 1970 if we had had the Internet, and saved how much in lives and resources? And yes, I'm going to subject myself to Godwin's Law and ask, what would have happened in Europe in 1936, had there been an internet? Anne Frank's diary would probably have been published while she was still alive (if it had even still needed to be written).

What better legacy for you and Maine to give the nation and the world, than to have written the "Snowe Amendment" (has a nice ring to it), to finally and irrevocably shift the real power to the people by ensuring that they finally, always have the right to speak out as loudly as do the special interests, to communicate and connect freely and privately, and to inspire even more people to take their destinies into their own hands as have the people of Egypt. The real, meaningful, historic opportunities to advance the cause of democracy and equality, and to assault ignorance and poverty and prejudice, are few and far between these days, and you should seize this one with both hands.

Thank you for your time,

Cowcharge

One west two west red west blue west

Yo, Charlie Sheen. When porn whores say you look like shit, you know you have a problem

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/01/exclusive-charlie-sheen-breaks-silence-tells-radar-im-fine-people-dont-seem-get

"People don't seem to get it.... Guy can't have a great time and do his job also?"

Apparently not, since your show is now on hiatus while you dry out. Again. Who doesn't get it?

Those whiny crew members complaining about losing their salaries because you're wasted all the time, what ingrates, huh.

How stupid do you have to be to still be doing coke in 2011?

Russia becomes a cargo cult

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/eu_russia_terror;_ylt=Am55ZVVJfsBq1HQmwZuf8HB2wPIE;_ylu=X3oDMTJ1aGxtMWhsBGFzc2V0Ay9zL2FwL2V1X3J1c3NpYV90ZXJyb3IEY2NvZGUDbXBfZWNfOF8xMARjcG9zAzcEcG9zAzcEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yaWVzBHNsawNydXNzaWF0b2NvbG8-

MOSCOW – Russia's parliament on Friday aims to pass a law creating color-coded terrorist threat alerts, a measure rushed forward in the wake of the Moscow airport bombing that left 35 dead and raised questions about the country's ability to handle attacks.

They're building a Homeland Security Headquarters out of bamboo and palm fronds as we speak.

Should pit bulls be a controlled substance?

– Wed Jan 26, 3:30 am ET

New York – Parents of a boy fatally mauled by a pit bull want lawmakers in Texas to make it a felony to own one of the dogs. Does the breed deserve its bad reputation?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/theweek/20110126/cm_theweek/211401

I've met three pit bulls, one old sweetie I knew well and loved, one I met briefly that seemed calm and friendly, and the third one was BIG, and uncontrollably aggressive, protective and territorial, and its owner admitted that she couldn't hold him when he went after someone. And she was not by any means a tiny woman, and he went after most everyone. To the point where when I showed up just as she was taking him outside to pee, I had to wait in my car until he was locked in the bedroom again before I could come in the house. And it was the same owner who had the sweet, gentle pit bull that I loved, so it wasn't anything she did. But this big one was simply uncontrollable.
I got bitten once in Navy housing by a nondescript yellow mutt who ambushed me from hiding as soon as I got within his chain's radius, and the sullen owner had the nerve to say it was because it was a "Southern dog", lol (it got put down later for biting a kid). Idiot. And as a raised-by-collies dog lover, normally I'd say that there are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Or I'd like to be able to say that. But the pit bull reputation didn't come about just from rednecks not playing with them enough.
You can't ignore the high attack numbers. And you can't just ignore the facts that they were (and continue to be) intentionally bred to make them more aggressive, and that it would take many, many generations to re-breed them to get rid of that aggression, and that's only if every breeder cooperated. The history of the breeding of many of their blood lines leaves them with a default aggressive gene no matter how any particular puppy is raised now, and without a concerted effort to dilute those bloodlines and rehabilitate the breed, the bad breeders will always have a head start in breeding bad dogs. It takes a more educated and diligent owner to raise a pit bull safely than it does a golden, because goldens want to love everybody. It's HARD to make a mean golden. While pit bulls really are closer to pumas than they are golden retrievers in the care that must be taken, because they can live peacefully for years, having not yet encountered a trigger, and then go off on someone without warning because of some Pavlovian trigger planted in their genes 100 years ago, like some particular cowbell sound they traditionally used to start the fights or something, the equivalent of a red cape to a bull. They're not a dog that you can risk just teaching to sit and throwing tennis balls for them and consider that training. And regardless of how "unfair" or unfortunate or sympathy-inspiring it might be for the breed to be singled out, they are animals who if improperly raised are dangerous, not oppressed humans with legal "rights". They were already unfairly singled out when people started raising them to tear each other to bits, and they need reprogramming, like the rogue killers in those super-soldier, you-made-me-this-way-with-your-experiments movies. They are unable to change their own instinctual behavior, so it's entirely up to their owners to protect the rest of us from their potential for violence, and not just apologize after an attack. And it's up to the breeders to start reversing the aggressive breeding. I'm not saying destroying them or prohibiting their purchase is the answer, I don't know what the answer is, but you can't ignore that they are fundamentally different from other breeds, made that way on purpose, and that must be taken into account both in deciding whether to buy one and in any legislation proposed.

A few of the old questions

1. Chicken or the egg? Stupid question, egg of course. Laid by some bird that was one chromosome away from being a chicken but didn't quite have the nads to get there. Chickensh-wait a minute...

2. Who'd a-thunk it?
"It's true! It's true! The crown has made it clear.
The climate must be perfect all the year.
A law was made a distant moon ago here:
July and August cannot be too hot.
And there's a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot"
is not an anti-global-warming parody. I watched Richard Harris sing it on YouTube to make sure.

3. Apparently the 12 Oscar nominations for "The King's Speech" are not for Obama's State of the Union speech. Forgive me, I thought the Nobel probably set a legal precedent. Sorry.

4. Does a tree falling in the forest alone still make a sound? Of course it does, dumbass. Is whether a tree can actually exist, or only the idea of "treeness", really that important a distinction to make when your car plows into an oak at a hundred and ten? Did you really pay money to study that crap for four years?

Now that Anonymous is involved...

... the real fight begins. Assange and his little troup have become insignificant, you watch.

Maine's wind power scam is a disgusting joke.

An open letter to Senators Collins and Snowe (feel free to copy and redistribute if'n you wanna):

Dear Senators Collins and Snowe,
I am writing to beg you both to do something about an impending disaster, the worst environmental and economic disaster in Maine history, and all sponsored by the government: Wind power.

Without the huge government subsidies and back room permit procedures, none of those wind companies could stay in business. First Wind is having a hard time staying in business even WITH the subsidies and the government's statutory support.

Maine already has a surplus of about 15% in electric power, and more than half of our generation is already powered by renewable, "clean" technology like hydro and biomass. We are one of the cleanest states in the country in that respect (but still have some of the highest electricity rates, not good for attracting new businesses). Most of the rest is generated with natural gas, as I'm sure you already know. Wind power will NOT "lessen our dependency on foreign oil", since we don't use oil to generate electricity. Nor can it replace dirty coal that we don't use.

Nor will it lessen our need for the conventional generators that we already have. Due to the unreliability of wind and its refusal to schedule strong breezes during peak energy consumption times, those conventional generators must remain online in standby, burning fuel, in order to prevent outages when the wind fluctuates. The German government found they must keep an 80% backup capacity in conventional generation ready to go at all times. You can't just start those plants up and shut them down every five minutes as the windspeed fluctuates, you have to keep them running, all the time, to prevent shortages.

Maine is a very low-wind-resource state. I ask you to look at the government-issued wind map of the United States, where you will see that the only place in the lower 48 that has enough reliable wind to make wind turbines a good deal is in the flat, windy center of the nation. Nowhere in this state does the average wind top 12-14 mph, and industrial wind turbines require around 27 mph winds just to start generating more power than they need to power themselves. Betz' Law limits the extraction of energy from wind to 59.3%, and that's assuming a perfect airfoil and absolutely no losses from friction, delays in adjusting to changing wind directions etc., which everyone knows is impossible. In many areas they end up being net power users. Even in the midwest you see farms of immobile turbines, due to unreliability and low winds.

Maine has Class IV wind levels in virtually the whole state, and GE doesn't even make turbines that operate in Class IV winds. They are not economically viable, because you can't get the RPMs needed to generate useful power out of winds that most of the time won't keep a kite aloft. Would you spend billions to build oil wells on land that produced ten barrels of crude per day? I wouldn't.

As you also probably already know, the peak demands for electric power in Maine occur on hot, steamy summer days, when there's no wind!

Do I need to mention the billions that we'll have to pay for new transmission lines? Billions that will come right out of the taxpayers' pockets, both in government giveaways and higher rates? For AT BEST 25% of the rated power advertised by the manufacturer and a less than 5% increase in our output? Between the subsidies and the higher rates, the taxpayer will be paying for the entire capital cost of these projects, much of which will go to foreign companies. And what do we get in return? A devastated landscape and higher electricity rates and taxes, and less than 5% more electricity that we don't even need.

Do I need to mention the effect even higher electricity rates and taxes will have on the attraction of new businesses to a state that's already too expensive to attract new businesses?

Do I need to mention the cost of recovery from another ice storm, when on top of the normal ice storm damage, those turbines and their transmission lines go down in the middle of nowhere? Wind turbines do NOT like cold climates, much less icing conditions. After all, an airfoil coated with ice is just as inefficient and prone to failure on a wind turbine blade as it is on the wing of an airliner. Probably more so, since they are not designed to take the loads that aircraft wings must survive.

Do I need to remind you of the economic disaster that clearcutting and blasting 300 miles of mountain tops will cause to our tourism industry ('bout the only industry left in the state)? The damage to our "quality of place"? Governor Baxter would roll over in his grave if he could see the future view from the top of Katahdin. You might as well just erase the last 300 miles of the Appalachian Trail while you're at it, because who wants to backpack through the helicopter scene from Apocalypse Now? Or just put a few McDonald's restaurants and casinos up there next to the trail huts, since it will no longer be anything like a wilderness.

Jobs? What jobs? Six months of construction work and a handful of guys in the control rooms, that's it. Is that worth all this destruction? Ask the Spanish government about the economic viability of investing in so-called "green" jobs, they published a recent study that showed just how misguided and expensive that idea is.

So why are the state and federal governments endorsing the destruction of 300 miles of mountain tops for no reason? Wind lobbyists and the mistaken belief that we're "being green". That's it. Not only are there virtually no economic or environmental benefits, it actually makes things worse in both respects. Do you want this to happen on your watch?

Remember the knee-jerk bandwagon of biofuels that everyone jumped on because they were so "green"? Well, they turned out to generate more pollution from clearing the land than the fuels they were meant to replace.

Again, I beg of you, educate yourselves on this scam before it's too late. Save the life of our state. Please.
Thank you for your time,
Cowcharge (Real name and address removed)
p.s. For the record, I have no financial, business or political interests of any kind in this issue. The only dog I have in this fight is the one who loves trees.

Religious indoctrination over generations and centuries...

is the same thing as selective dog breeding. Using Pavlovian religious training, they breed out individual thought, imagination, and halt the evolution of the mind, then replace it with learning by rote, blind obedience and self-denial. After all, it's an unthinking guard breed that they want, isn't it.

To all the weaselly little pricks writing malware.

Blow me. I beat you again. And by the way, do you advertisers really expect me to buy something when you jam your ads in my face? Really? Fat chance. I will go far, far out of my way to avoid giving anyone who uses pop-ups or adware a dime.

Thank you, Spybot. 

http://www.safer-networking.org/index2.html

It's really hard not to laugh...

Indonesian Muslims told to change prayer direction

Fri Jul 16, 12:02 pm ET

JAKARTA (Reuters) – Indonesia's Muslims learned on Friday they have been praying in the wrong direction, after the country's highest Islamic authority said its directive on the direction of Mecca actually had people facing Africa. Muslims are supposed to face the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia during prayer and the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) issued an edict in March stipulating westward was the correct direction from the world's most populous Muslim country.

"But it has been decided that actually the mosques are facing Somalia or Kenya, so we are now suggesting people shift the direction slightly to the north-west," the head of the MUI, Cholil Ridwan, told Reuters. "There's no need to knock down mosques, just shift your direction slightly during prayer." Ridwan said Muslims need not fear that their prayers have been wasted because they were facing the wrong way. "Their prayers will still be heard by Allah," he said.

Said Agil Siradj, head of Indonesia's largest Muslim organization Nahdlatul Ulama, told English language newspaper the Jakarta Globe that the confusion showed the MUI issued edicts too fast and that this was a lesson for them. The MUI has, in the past, issued controversial edicts banning Muslims from chanting during yoga, and from smoking. Indonesia is a majority Muslim but officially secular country.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100716/od_nm/us_indonesia_mecca

I mean, really, really hard...

Did You See That?

Standin' there at the bar just havin' a beer
after work and nuthin' much to take me home
when I caught some motion out the corner of my eye
It was a babe with a tray and... my oh my

Oh my God did you see that
Oh my God did you see that
I know she's too young, or I'm too old but
Oh my God did you see that

Well I shoulda known better than to do what I did next
But the way she moved put a twistin' on my neck
So I followed her 'round the corner watch her walk up the stairs
I knew it was stupid but I followed her right up there

(I'm tellin' ya, the way her hips moved under that skirt
She could balance that tray, dodge drunks and still flirt)

Caught up with her in the middle of a wailin' reggae crowd
Tried to get her number but the music was too damned loud
From the smile in her eyes I knew she knew what I was after
She put her hand on my arm and said "sure I'll get you a draft, sir"

Oh my God did you see that
Oh my God did you see that
She saw it coming and she stopped me flat
Oh my God did you see that

Well I tucked in my tail retreated back downstairs
chugged my beer had to get the hell out of there
As I was leavin I could hear her laughin' with my friends
Another mistake I'll never hear the end of

Oh my God did you see that
Oh my God did you see that

(He ain't rich enough to be that fat!)

Oh my God did you see that

Insomnia

One.

Six left, not bad.

Know I dreamed,

but not what it was.

One isn't enough.

Clouds gather.

Two and twenty.

Four-point-six-would be ok.

You in the same boat?

Should I call?

One isn't enough

No more blue.

Three plus eleven.

Less than four is better than one.

Rather dream,

even a nightmare.

One isn't enough.

Cold rain.

Four and a half.

Two and a half, please...

Tried everything,

nothing works.

One isn't enough.

Chaotic winds.

Five and thirty-eight.

One more if I'm lucky.

I check if you're on,

but you're luckier.

One isn't enough.

Lightning strikes.

Six and who-gives-a-fuck.

Too late now.

Resign myself.

Another one gone.

One isn't enough.

One isn't enough.

A mosque at Ground Zero?

How comforting it will be for grieving visitors to hear triumphant Arabic calls to prayer echoing across their loved ones' graves 5 times a day. Good job, NYC "Community" Board and Mayor Bloomberg.

A country song called Coon

Feelin' like a treed coon with all the shit that I been through

There's work and home, and they both suck

And then there's you

Behind 'em with your shotgun, gonna knock me on my ass

I'm feelin' like a treed coon, so barkeep fill my glass

My boss yelled at me again today, get yer lazy ass back to work

Well I sure get all the shit jobs, but I never get the perks

Ole Johnny Paycheck and DAC had it right in that old song

I'm gonna take my job and shove it, right where it belongs

Feelin' like a treed coon with all the shit that I been through

My head is poundin' from all the barkin'

And then there's you

Behind 'em with your shotgun, gonna blow me straight to Hell

I'm feelin' like a treed coon, and the hounds have caught my smell

My wife done left me yesterday, she's taken up with some new sport

My kids all think that I'm a 'tard, an idiot and a dork

Well maybe they're all right ya know, an' what they say is true

But the last straw on this here hump, you know it's you

Feelin' like a treed coon with all the shit that I been through

Howlin' and droolin' and slaverin' fangs

And then there's you

Behind 'em with your shotgun, and I know you want me gone

I'm feelin' like a treed coon, and I don't have very long

When you and I, when we first met we didn't have a clue

What all would happen to us both 'cause of me and 'cause of you

What started out so awesome now has suddenly gone South

Ain't nothin' I can do, so I'm just gonna shut my mouth

Feelin' like a treed coon with all the shit that I been through

All them claws a-shreddin' the bark

And then there's you

Behind 'em with your shotgun, and I see you draw a bead

I'm feelin' like a treed coon, and a lift is what I need

When we were friends and hangin' out, well everything was great

Now what I see there on your face looks a helluva lot like hate

I'm outta here don't worry, you won't be seein' me around

Gotta get my ass down from this tree, get my feet back on the ground

Feelin' like a treed coon with all the shit that I been through

They almost got my tail that time

And then there's you

Behind 'em with your shotgun, and I know the end is near

I'm feelin' like a treed coon, Jesus get me out of here

I'm feelin' like a treed coon, Jesus get me out of here

Walking up Lambert Road in the Dark

Walking up Lambert road, in the dark, on the come-latelys' shiny new blacktop

Where they pamper their Benzes and Beemers and Hummers (You believe it? There's Hummers on Lambert!)

Hallowe'en is but one week away, and the moon slashes jack 'o lantern shapes from the trees

Walked this road for damned near forty years of my life, and it still feels like a horror flick to me

The trees form a tunnel above me, the houses lay silent, like nobody's there

Down across Readin' Creek a few hounds are wound up, their voices carry in the brilliant night air

Strange movement in the bushes, north breeze filling cold, that rustles and rattles dead leaves

Always brings me right back to that time, when I had her, and lost her, that time makes me bleed

Why do I go up there, why tear it all open

What good can it do, what can I be hoping

to accomplish by living it all once again

Walking Lambert in the dark, my beginning, and my end

Such an idyllic place that it was to spend boyhood, (in daylight at least) it was fine

But it always held menace as well, that old road, however peaceful, rural, sublime 

It held menace that hovered, that lingered, that bristled, that waited for you with foul breath

Menace overpowering, overbearing, terror clawing at your wake, run home fast or tonight dine with death

Childish fears, superstition, no credence can you give to such juvenile rantings as these

I told myself that too, when I felt it, when it came, 'til it took my Marie

Why do I go up there, why tear it all open

What good can it do, what can I be hoping

to accomplish by living it all once again

Walking Lambert in the dark, my beginning, and my end

We were happy, we were planning, we were aiming, we were jamming,

we were going to be husband and wife

Since I lost her I wander, not caring, not trying

for anything that resembles a life

I blame the road, and its evil, there's no way around it

that's the only way this can make sense

no way it could have happened, wasn't random, wasn't destined

it was evil, no more and no less

This old road thinks it's Hallowe'en every night of the year

And Hallowe'en was made just for killing

If you walk it, just be ready, don't go solitaire, don't go lightly

And don't go when the north breeze is filling

Don't go up there, not with loved ones, not with fun in mind, don't go lightly

up that old evil road in the night

Don't risk loved ones, don't risk everything, don't go lightly, don't go up there

fail to heed me and your soul dies tonight

Why do I go up there, why tear it all open

What good can it do, what can I be hoping

to accomplish by living it all once again

Walking Lambert in the dark, my beginning, and my end

Boomerang

Your sweaty hands can grip me no longer

your aim is no longer hitting my mark

The light I had thought that you were shining

Was black light, it just makes my world get more dark

You're tryin' to keep too many balls in the air

and losing them all, every ball, one by one

Soon you'll be standing there, waving your arms

in an empty theater, onstage all alone

'Cause honey I ain't your boomerang

You've thrown me away one too many times

The string on this yo-yo just broke for good

And I'm rolling off to warmer climes

You're playing with dolls, puppets on strings

You ignore real people who actually care

The ones who tell you the unvarnished truth

You'd rather just hear what we think of your hair

Your audience shrinks a little more day by day

Your show's getting old, it ain't drawin' the crowds

If you bothered to read what the critics all say

You wouldn't be singing and laughing so loud

Well honey I ain't your boomerang

You've thrown me away one too many times

The string on this yo-yo just broke for good

And I'm rolling out of this theater of grime

People are laughing behind your back

You're making a fool of yourself, you know

You're smoking your real friends up like crack

While posers and yes-men fill your front row

The billboards, marquees, your name all in lights

You got top billing, I will give you that

But it's an empty script, and rather chilling

And I ain't stickin' around for the second act

'Cause honey I ain't your boomerang

You've thrown me away one too many times

The string on this yo-yo just broke for good

And I'm rolling off without glancing behind

Just one in a long line of toys to him

Something shiny to (p)lay with, he's had quite a few

He's pushed all your buttons and seen all your tricks

And he's at Toys 'R Us right now, buying new

A few months' diversion, is all that you are

To him you're one cookie on a very big tray

But you don't wanna hear it, and I'm out of breath

So it's so long, goodnight, and have a nice day

'Cause honey I ain't your boomerang

You've thrown me away one too many times

The string on this yo-yo just broke for good

And I'm rolling off 'cause you're wasting my time

Your script needs a rewrite, and it needs it soon

Before all the roustabouts fold up your tent

Your show's going under, your backers are here

demanding their money, but you know it's all spent

It might still be possible to save yourself

To drag your box office out of the red

But I don't think that you've got the guts to do it

'Cause the cheap seat acclaim has gone to your head

Well honey I ain't your boomerang

You've thrown me away one too many times

The string on this yo-yo just broke for good

So I'm rolling off and I relish the climb